Books That Heal Kids: conflict resolution

Showing posts with label conflict resolution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conflict resolution. Show all posts

Book Review: Rita and Ralph's Rotten Day

Author: Carmen Agra Deedy
Illustrator: Pete Oswald

From the Book Jacket: 
In two little houses,
on two little hills, lived two best friends
 
So begins the story of Rita and Ralph. Every day they meet to play beneath the apple tree. It's always fun and games - until one roundly rotten day when a new game means someone ends up crying. Who knew it could be so hard to say "I'm sorry"? Just when it seems nothing will ever be right again, a surprising thing happens. The old friends try something new, that isn't new at all. Something they've done a hundred times. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I teach a lot of conflict resolution and problem solving to students so I was so excited to come across this book. This one will be helpful to teach the art of the apology. It's a great story to teach the size of the problem and sincere apologies. Love this one!

A Link to This Book: 
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Book Review: Deep Breaths

Author/Illustrator: Carol Thompson

From the Book Jacket: Dolly the Pig and Jack the Rabbit are best friends, but even best friends don't always get along. When Dolly and Jack have a big disagreement, they learn to count from ten to one, hum like a bee, and take long, deep breaths to calm down...and be zen friends again!

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Originally I thought this was going to be a book about mindfulness but it actually is a story about two friends who get mad at each other. They say some very hurtful things to each other but really don't mean it and really don't want to be upset with each other. They declare they are no longer friends. From there they use calming techniques to get rid of their anger. Eventually they find each other and the friends are reunited by telling each other how much they missed one another. It's a sweet story and I'm always looking for stories showing friends making up. 

A  Link to This Book: 
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Big Friends


Author: Linda Sarah
Illustrator: Benji Davies

From the Book Jacket: Birt and Etho are best friends. Together they play outside in big cardboard boxes. Sometimes they're kings, soldiers, astronauts. Sometimes they're pirates sailing wild seas and skies. But always, always, they're Big friends. Then one day a new boy arrives, and he wants to join them. Can two become three?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Navigating a friendship of three can be really difficult for kids. At some point a child might feel left out if they see the other two are having more fun with each other. All of a sudden they might feel very lonely and left out in the friendship. But don't know how to express it or fit back in because jealousy has taken over. This book helps kids celebrate a circle of three friends. This is a big issue kids deal with and I can't wait to use this as a skill building resource for being inclusive. 

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Book Review: Mixed - A Colorful Story

Author/Illustrator: Arree Chung

From the Book Jacket: In the beginning, there were three colors...Reds, Yellows, and Blues. All special in their own ways, all living in harmony - until one day, a Red says, "Reds are the best!" and starts a color kerfuffle. When the colors decide to separate, is there anything that can change their minds? A Yellow, a Blue, and a never-before-seen color might just save the day in this inspiring book about color, tolerance, and embracing differences. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: My daughter has read this book about ten times since we got it. I cannot wait to share it with students. The message of kindness, getting along, and respecting one another is exactly how I would like kids to start their school year. Too many times our differences keep us apart and can sadly create an environment that does not feel inclusive or accepting. Building a positive school community is what matters most to me. Mixed - A Colorful Story supports that mission and will help children to be kind and caring towards one another. This one is a must for your home, classroom, and counseling curriculum!

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Book Review: Draw the Line




Author/Illustrator: Kathryn Otoshi

From the Book Jacket: When two boys draw their own lines and realize they can connect them - magic happens! But then a misstep causes their lines to get crossed. Push! Pull! Tug! Yank! Soon their line unravels into a tug-of-war. With a growing rift between them, will the boys ever find a way to come together again? This is a wordless picture book about friendship, boundaries, and healing after conflict. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I often feel like I go through cycles as a school counselor as the CONSTANT problem solver with kid conflict. It is not my favorite thing! My hope this year is to be more proactive in giving kids the tools and skills they need to solve their own issues that don't require adult help. I needed a book that is not too long and will give me enough time in my lesson to work on conflict resolution steps. Also, because this story is wordless it allows us to create our own plan to make amends in friendships. I love the illustration of the large crack in the ground between the boys. I think it's a great metaphor and a discussion starter on how to fix our friendship cracks. Another positive was I needed more books with boys in it. I like to see a representation of everyone on my bookshelf. Excited to add this one to my library and hoping it helps lessen my time spent doing all the problem solving. 

A Link to This Book:


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Book Review: Horrible Bear!

Author: Ame Dyckman
Illustrator: Zachariah OHora

From the Book Jacket: Bear didn't mean to break the girl's kite. But she's upset anyway. Upset enough to shout: HORRIBLE BEAR? Is Bear really horrible? Even the occasionally Horrible Bear in your family will laugh at this hilarious tale of accidents, outbursts, manners...and learning to say "I'm sorry."

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is a great concrete book on what to do when we hurt someone's feelings. In Horrible Bear! when the little girl gets her feelings hurt she lashes out at bear. Later in a moment of empathy she realizes that hurting someone's feelings back is not the answer - so she apologizes. 



A Link to This Book:
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Book Review: Me, Me, Me

Author: Annika Dunklee
Illustrator: Lori Joy Smith
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Annie, Lillemor and Lilianne are best friends for many reasons, including a shared love of singing. So when their teacher announces a school talent show, Annie suggests they enter as an all-girl singing group. What fun!

But when the three girls brainstorm what song they might sing and what costumes they'll wear, Annie doesn't like any of Lilianne and Lillemor's suggestions. It's Annie's way or the highway - the whole thing was her idea, after all! Will creative differences keep the three friends apart? Or will Annie change her tune?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: I've been using this one for grades K-2 on how to be a FLEXIBLE friend. It's helpful to have a resource like this when I"m trying to help kids become aware of how their behavior is impacting their friendships. If you choose to always be the one in charge and demand things to always be your way when playing with others - you might find yourself alone. I need more books on friendship skills so I was so happy to come across this one. 

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Useful:
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Book Review: Accident!


Author/Illustrator: Andrea Tsurumi
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

From the Book Jacket: Oops! When Lola the armadillo accidentally knocks a jug of juice all over her parents' best chair, it's a calamity, a catastrophe, a FIASCO! She panics and decides to run away to the library. Along the way, she gathers a group of equally alarmed friends who have gotten into similar pickles. But they're not the only ones in trouble: a stoat's snarled in spaghetti; a bull's broken a whole china shop, a llama's up a tree, and someone should tell that platypus to watch out for that hose! It's the end of the world! Or is it?

While "sorry" still might be the hardest word, this silly and sincere book will help readers realize that making a mistake isn't a disaster. And Lola just might find that a small accident can snowball into a big opportunity for forgiveness - of herself and others. 





Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is such a HELPFUL HELPFUL book to teach kids the difference between small and big problems, making mistakes, and how to recover from a failure or accident. There are a lot of students who need help with their reactions to the size of their problem. I see this book really helping kids who are overreacting and having big emotions to little problems. 

A Link to This Book: 
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Book Review: This is My Dollhouse

Author/Illustrator: Giselle Potter
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: I made my dollhouse out of a cardboard box. It has an elevator that goes up and down, a rooftop swimming pool, and a very special family that lives in it. My friend Sophie has a dollhouse too. It's perfect. The dolls all look the same, and everything matches. What will Sophie say when she sees mine?

Why It's On My Bookshelf: My daughter and I recently discovered this book and I thought it was going to be a story about a girl who creates a dollhouse using a cardboard box. But it is much more than that. When the two girls have a play date a tense moment happens between them where one of them tries to control everything. She shuts the other friend down and won't listen to any of her ideas. This was such a great teachable moment. We had a good discussion about remembering to be a flexible friend and not shut down others ideas just because you might not want to play that way. The story ends with the girls having another play date and they are open to each others ideas and cooperate together. 




A Link to This Book:
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Book Reviews: Rulers of the Playground

Author/Illustrator: Joseph Kuefler
Interest Level: Ages 4-8

From the Book Jacket: One morning, Jonah decided to become ruler of the playground. Everyone pinkie promised to obey King Jonah's rules...Everyone except for Lennox, because she wanted to rule the playground too...

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This book tackles a lot of the issues we've been dealing with on our playground lately. There seems to be a few students who have been using bossy behaviors as a way to be in charge of other friends or dictate what games will be played. So I appreciated seeing this new book as it will go a long way in helping children remember to be flexible friends. Jonah and Lennox both try and "rule" the playground but the ending result is they are left with no friends. They realize that being bossy and demanding with others is actually very exhausting so they come up with an apology plan to make things right. I'm so delighted to have this new one on my bookshelf. It's going to definitely help make a positive behavior impact. 


A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful: 
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Book Review: Melena's Jubilee: The Story of a Fresh Start


Author: Zetta Elliott
Illustrator: Aaron Boyd

About This Book: After being sent to bed early the previous night, Melena wakes up to a new day with a song in her heart. At breakfast she learns she has been given a “fresh start,” and she decides to celebrate by doing things differently for the rest of the day. Melena chooses not to fight with her brother, and shares the money she has rather than demanding to be repaid by a less fortunate friend. This story introduces children to the concept of jubilee, which stresses the important principles of generosity, and forgiveness.



Why It's On My Bookshelf: What a WONDERFUL book! I am so excited to share it with my students and my own children. We all make mistakes. But how we recover and move forward is what matters most. Lets start modeling to our kids we can do that without being so hard on ourselves. I have always loved the message that tomorrow is always a new day and it brings with it renewal. Melena's Jubilee models this concept so well and it can truly be life changing for kids. Mistakes are not the end of the world - they are a catalyst for positive change. 

A Link to This Book:
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Book Review: When Miles Got Mad

 
Author: Sam Kurtzman-Counter
Interest Level: Ages 4 and Up

About This Book: When his little brother breaks his favorite toy, Miles gets MAD. As his anger swells, he catches sight of himself in the mirror -- but instead of his own reflection, a furry red monster stares back at him! By encouraging Miles to use words to express his anger, the Mad Monster helps Miles calm himself until eventually the anger -- and the monster -- disappears. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is an awesome resource for self-regulation around controlling anger. It encourages a strategy of voicing feelings when you are upset. Miles becomes borderline out of control with his anger until he is confronted by it and he tries to deal with it by avoiding it and then trying to hit it. Finally he admits that he just doesn't know what to do other than he feels SO SO MAD. He starts talking about why he is mad and immediately begins to calm down and his anger shrinks. This will work great in many of my lessons around the Zones of Regulation and how to solve problems.




A Link to This Book:
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Book Review: A Bug and a Wish



















Author: Karen Scheuer
Illustrator: Kalpart
Interest Level: Ages 4-7

From the Book Jacket: When Tyler is teased by the other boys, his good friend, Danae, encourages him to give the boys A Bug and a Wish. When Tyler finds a ladybug and a dandelion seed, he is convinced that this is what Danae means. As his friend helps him learn the true meaning of her advice, Tyler soon discovers the solution to his problem. 






Why It's On My Bookshelf: This is such a creative way to teach younger kids how to use an 'I Message' towards an unwanted behavior. I can't wait to put this into practice with our students as we begin to work on conflict resolution strategies. 

An example of how to use the phrase:
It bugs me when you make fun of my name and I wish you would stop.

You can always change the word wish to something a little more assertive to need or want. But I think the book does a good job of helping build language for kids to access when they need a strategy to stop a mean behavior.  

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:
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Book Review: What Do You Do With a Problem?


Author: Kobi Yamada
Illustrator: Mae Besom
Interest Level: Ages 5 and Up

From the Book Jacket: What do you do with a problem? Especially one that follows you around and doesn't seem to be going away? Do you worry about it? Ignore it? Do you run and hide from it?

This is the story of a persistent problem and the child who isn't so sure what to make of it. The longer the problem is avoided, the bigger it seems to get. But when the child finally musters up the courage to face it, the problem turns out to be something quite different than expected. 

This is a story for anyone, at any age, who has ever had a problem that they wished would go away. It's a story to inspire you to look closely at that problem and to find out why it's here. Because you might discover something amazing about your problem...and yourself. 






Why It's On My Bookshelf: A lot of my job is helping kids solve problems. I was so excited to find a resource that teaches kids our problems are really trying to tell us something about ourselves. They are really an opportunity to learn, grow, be brave, and do something. What Do You Do With a Problem shows a child struggling with his problem and avoiding it as it continues to grow and get bigger. Finally, he faces it and learns what looked like something negative - really holds a positive outcome. What a great book to help kids stop avoiding a problem and instead take control of it. 

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:
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Book Review: The Peace Rose

 




















Written and Illustrated by Alicia Jewell
Interest Level: Ages 3 and Up

About This Book: A peace book for children ages 3 and up, introducing the skill of solving problems with the use of a peace rose. This book consists of three every-day problem-solving vignettes, modeled with clear, simple language, and contains sixteen beautiful full-color illustrations of the children involved. The Peace Rose encourages the independent and peaceful resolution of difficulties between children in a classroom, at home, or anyplace where children gather. At the end, a three page Teachers Guide helps the adult to model and encourage use of the peace rose.






Why It's On My Bookshelf: I wish I would have purchased this book a LONG LONG time ago. It's so simple and easy for children to understand. It's going to work great for teaching kids how to communicate their feelings using I-Statement language. Having kids use a rose to pass back and forth as they talk to each other is such a wonderful act of peace and friendship. And now that I have a Peace Table in my counseling room - I can help kids use this process to solve conflicts. I'm so happy about this book!

A Link to This Book:


Take a look at the Peace Table/Break Area I have been putting together this year......












Sources:
Believe You Can Sign: HERE
How Are You Feeling/Reflection/Take A Break Signs/Calming Cards: HERE
Lamp, Pillows, Blue Rug, Basket: IKEA
Sand Tray: Amazon
Only One You Puppet: Amazon
Feelings Books: I will blog about these soon!


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Book Review: Peace, Baby

Author: Linda Ashman
Illustrator: Joanne Lew-Vriethoff
Interest Level: Grades K-2

From the Book Jacket: When you want to push and shout, hoot and holler, punch or pout, breathe in slowly. Let it out....Say: Peace, baby!

Friends grab toys. Siblings don't share. Life's not fair - but we can be! A frustrating day may feel overwhelming, but everyone wins with peace, baby. Acclaimed author Linda Ashman's gentle clever rhymes will inspire readers of all ages to find peace within themselves, peace with one another, and peace with the world. 

Why It's On My Bookshelf: Lately it's been feeling like there are some kids in my school struggling with conflict. When they are frustrated, upset, or mad I'm noticing instead of choosing a peaceful solution they are really hurting the other child's feelings. Towards the end of the school year students can forget kind ways to solve problems. Now seemed like a perfect time to do some re-teaching about keeping your cool.

This book has really inspired me to spread the word about PEACE! Peace, Baby! It is so PERFECT for my refresher lessons on conflict resolution. Each page shows a child in the midst of a conflict, then the next page shows them making a caring choice with the words "Peace, Baby!"  Kids are now shouting to me from across the playground, "Mrs D! Peace, Baby!!" Excellent!

A Link to This Book and Others You Might Find Helpful:
  
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Book Review: Desmond and The Very Mean Word

Authors: Archbishop Desmond Tutu and 
Douglas Carlton Abrams
illustrated by A.G. Ford

From the Book Jacket: Desmond was very proud of his new bicycle. He was the only child in the whole township who had one, and he couldn't wait to show it to Father Trevor. 

When Desmond takes his new bicycle out for a ride, his pride and joy turn to hurt and anger when some boys shout a very mean word at him. No matter what he tries, Desmond can't stop thinking about what the boys said. With the wise advice of kindly Father Trevor, Desmond learns an important lesson about understanding his conflicted feelings and how to forgive.  

Based on a real-life experience from Archbishop Desmond Tutu's own childhood in South Africa, Desmond and the Very Mean Word eloquently shows a child's realization that true forgiveness comes from within and that all people deserve compassion, whether or not they say they are sorry.  

Why It's On My Bookshelf: This has been an important picture book I've been using with our fourth and fifth graders. Sometimes I'm so saddened to see how horribly mean some of them can be to each other. So when this book arrived I knew it had a message that would touch their hearts and hopefully stop the mean words. Reminding kids they can make a decision to stop a hurtful conversation and take responsibility is what this book is all about.

There is a conversation in the book between Father Trevor and Desmond that we focused on:

Father Trevor sighed. "That is the problem, Desmond. You will get them back, and they they will get you back, and soon our whole world will be filled with nothing but 'getting back.'"

And there it is! Stopping the cycle of hurt is what my students need to hear. Especially because some of them come from homes where that cycle is happening. Forgiveness is an absent thing in many of their lives. When I asked if they could define forgiveness - not many hands went up. We teach a lot about apologies but it became clear the other part of the equation needs to be put out there too.

It is never revealed what the mean word is used against Desmond. I was concerned some kids would get hung up on that. We did have a small discussion on what the mean words might have been. But what we kept coming back to was how those words can have such a damaging impact. And that's why we need forgiveness............yep!

A Link to This Book:  
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